


Shadow and Ash

by NachtofWalpurgis



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Maul (mentioned) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:48:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29100555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NachtofWalpurgis/pseuds/NachtofWalpurgis
Summary: After opening herself up to the dark side, Ahsoka discovers a bond thought long severed and follows it to its source. (One Shot)
Relationships: Ahsoka Tano & Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Shadow and Ash

The ship ramp lowered with a sharp, bracing hiss. As she disembarked, the ash circled around her in a torrent, the sulfur gathering at the back of her throat as twin rivers of magma illuminated her only path forward. Ahsoka could feel the pure rage of this place, the sheer suffering etched into its carved surface. Gathering her resolve and covering her face against the noxious fumes, she went forth to find her master. She reached out through their bond to find it still as tender as a gaping wound. It was painful for her to even send a tentative inquiry and agony to accept his presence within her mind. Her master’s response washed over her in a frigid maelstrom that burned her very being. A tug on her mind directed her to the imposing and bleak structure that dominated most of her attention on the descent. How long had she searched? How long had she been reached out in the force only to feel nothing, absolute emptiness in return? She thought he was dead. It took her a few years to come to terms with his death but had resigned herself to it nevertheless. And then just when she had thought all hope was lost, Maul had found her on Moraband and forced her to confront the possibility of a worse fate for her master. One she couldn’t believe before. It felt like a betrayal to accept the truth.

The thought of Anakin alive but fallen ate away at her bit by bit until she could no longer stand it. No longer could she stand not knowing. She had to know. When Order 66 happened she was overwhelmed by the sheer loss, paralyzed and unsure. She felt the deaths of so many that day but the severing of her bond...that she did not feel. It was what she expected to feel. What so many padawans told her to expect when their masters died fighting in the war. Her bond was not severed. The tether may have been strained, thinned, and weak but it was present. At the other end, however, all she could feel was darkness, an empty void where Anakin used to be. Ahsoka meditated on her connection for the better part of the past cycle, reaching out with increasing desperation as more and more of the galaxy became dark to her. At her lowest point, she no longer retreated from that darkness but tore at it as if hacking through brush, focusing all her frustration, despair, and rage through the bond. At first, it was like chipping away at a mountain but she slowly felt the tether widen and strengthen like thick roots holding open a gap into the void. Once she let herself calm and center herself in the force, the bond began to shrivel, and the fear of losing her master forever only strengthened her resolve to push further. She gathered all the hate she could muster, for the Jedi Council, for Barriss, for the Empire, and even for Anakin for allowing himself to fall and pushed it all through the bond. She let herself wallow in grief, self-loathing, and fear. Ahsoka didn’t reach out and wait for a response that would never come. She tore through the bond viciously demanding to be let in. Feeling her probe in the force finally connect with something barely more tangible than sheer nothingness, she found herself feeling a sense of elation.

I did it! I found him! 

Suddenly her entire world tilted on its axis. The void of nothingness lurched and shifted, sending Ahsoka to the floor by its sheer mass. If she thought the pain of her own emotions was soul-shattering, the pure agony coursing through her brought her to her knees as she felt the new presence begin to dismantle her psyche. It stopped suddenly and before she had the chance to be grateful for the reprieve she felt the presence press relentlessly into her mind once more and envelope her more carefully. The deafening sound of a respirator cycling and a booming synthesized voice rang in her ears.

Ashoka…

On the cold metal floor of her ship’s hold, Ahsoka shook with emotion. Fear, disgust, shame, anger, hate and self-loathing all found a place deep in her heart. She knew that the full force of these feelings was not her own but it still cut deep. Images flooded her mind. Fire, black stone, molten rivers. A towering black fortress pressed to the front of her senses, taking her back to the Clone Wars where Charger fell to his death and Master Piell was mauled to death by anubas but this wasn’t the Citadel. It was sleeker and sharper, enveloped by rivers of magma, rising and piercing the ashen clouds above. Even from half the galaxy away, the image was burned into her mind. Then a softer voice, one she recognized as belonging to her old master rang through her head.

…Mustafar...Come to Mustafar, Apprentice…

And so she came. It wasn’t much of an internal debate, really. Why spend all this time searching for answers only to turn away at the last moment? She was never one to run away. Ahsoka had many encounters with the darkness since her self-imposed exile from the Jedi Order and although this was different on so many levels, she had to face her old master. She wouldn’t turn away from him this time.

Striding through the ash towards the castle-like structure, she saw a tall silhouette on the horizon standing in front of the beginnings of a durasteel landing pad; one she had avoided landing on in case of a trap. Through her bond, she instantly recognized this figure as the source of pain and suffering, the gaping wound in the force that was what Anakin had become. As she approached she could feel his gaze upon her, tracking her movement. Stopping in front of him, they observed each other for a few moments while their lightsabers remained dangling from their belts. She scanned him up and down both admiring and reviling the monstrously intimidating armored black suit that fully encased him. It was the control panel that intrigued her the most, however, as she wondered what purpose it could serve. Some things never change. The way he held himself, looping his thumbs through his belt, was all Anakin. Her thoughts brightened as his helmet tilted in consideration and she could tell that her former master was examining her as well through his insectoid lenses.

Finally, he spoke with grim certainty. “The apprentice returns.” 

She could feel something that she could only describe as anticipation through their bond. It was the most positive emotion she had felt so far and she could only respond with her own feelings of tentative excitement. She could feel their connection slowly start to mend in close proximity as the gnarling roots smoothed and tender wounds healed. Darkness melded with her light but took care not to snuff it out. At least not yet. She could feel him encroaching carefully and felt his approval and...hope when he saw no ill will in her intent.

Bracing herself for the all-encompassing heat, she removed her scarf and smiled. “Master.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have the best track record with fanfiction, so I thought that a quick one-shot might get me back in the groove. I might expand upon this idea later or return to my other fics but I haven't decided yet. I have a bad habit of establishing my own headcanon and wanting to start a story smack dab in the middle of it or outlining to oblivion without actually writing anything, so I just wanted to write something quick and fun. Ahsoka took a different journey to get to this point than in canon smuggling and artifact searching rather than being so heavily involved with the rebellion, so that changed her a bit.


End file.
